


Try Again, And Again, And Again

by Mosswillows



Series: Try again, Dark!Charles Xavier [1]
Category: Marvel, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse, Dark, Dubious Consent, F/M, Kidnapping, Mind Control, Past Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Vaginal Fingering, mentions of punishments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:33:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29644446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mosswillows/pseuds/Mosswillows
Summary: Your life is so perfect. A sweet and caring husband, a beautiful home; but something is off.
Relationships: Charles Xavier/Reader
Series: Try again, Dark!Charles Xavier [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2182995
Comments: 2
Kudos: 56





	Try Again, And Again, And Again

Morning light glows from behind the curtains and you blink a few times as your brain wakes up. You look over to your husband, Charles, and give him a peck on the cheek. 

“Good morning,” He groans. 

You smile and slide your hand over his chest and down his abdomen. 

“Well, you’re naughty this morning,” He chuckles. 

He rolls to his side and grabs your face, pulling you toward him and kissing you aggressively. His other hand snakes down your body and finds your clit, circling it slowly. You push your hips into his hand and he moves his fingers faster. A moan escapes you as his fingers dip into your cunt, expertly finding that spot that makes you sing. Within minutes you’re coming around his fingers. He watches you hungrily, sinking his finger in deeper and groaning as he reaches his own climax.

“You’re perfect,” He whispers in your ear. 

You smile and close your eyes for a second before rolling out of bed. 

“Eggs?” you ask, watching from the doorway as he stretches his tight leg muscles. 

“Sounds perfect.” 

Charles comes in just as you finish plating everything. He stops at the table and pulls a paper from his lap, opening it and finding something to read. You put the eggs down in front of him and he pulls you down, giving you a kiss. 

“Why do you have to be so beautiful?” He asks. 

You give a playful smile and shrug while turning away, feigning surprise when he lands a playful slap on your ass. You sit across from him and sip your coffee, studying his concentrated face as he reads his paper. Intelligence is the first thing that attracted you to him, He’s always reading something, always thinking. It was all luck, finding such a smart and caring husband. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you.

The door opens and you don’t have to look to know who it is. Wolverine.

“You just got back,” you whine.

“Disaster doesn't tend to check the calendar for a convenient time,” He replies, following Logan out to talk to him. You try to hear from the table but their voices are muffled. Charles comes back and you frown as you take in the apologetic look on his face.

“I could help,” you say hopefully. You know it’s not safe for you, you weren't born like him, don’t have powers. Still something inside you wants desperately to go with him and help save the world. He grabs your hand and pulls you down into a long kiss.

“No.” His tone is harsh and you jump a little. “I’m sorry, I know how much you hate waiting here. It’s just not safe.” 

You stand, taking your plate to the kitchen and rinse it off, refusing to look at him. He pushes up behind you grabbing your arm and you turn to him wiping away a tear.

“Come home, I need you,” you try to smile but end up pouting.

“Always, my dear.” 

The yard is littered with mutants, you watch them mobilize and quickly leave together. It’s suddenly quiet and you sit at the window watching the breeze move leaves around the yard. It’s a beautiful day, it would be so nice to take a walk. It’s not safe when he’s away. It’s what you agreed to when you married him, the constant fear. It’s worth it to be with him, you’ve never loved someone so much.

It’s so nice though and you just want a little fresh air. You look around and open the door, walking into the yard. It’s not a big deal, just a little walk. You make your way through the grass and stop suddenly when you notice something sticking up from the dirt. You bring your hand to the object and feel electricity run through your fingertips as something pulls up through the dirt. A little white bow. You stare at it for several minutes and stuff it in your pocket before heading back inside. 

You’re not sure why you don’t just throw it away, why you walk straight to your bathroom and hide it on the top shelf. It feels important, like it’s something special and needs to be kept.

After a few hours you forget about the little bow and by the time night falls the only thought on your mind is Charles. You’re too worried to sleep so you sit on the couch and read a book. The door opens and you look up expectantly.

“You should have gone to bed,” Charles chastises.

“You know I can’t sleep when you’re gone.” 

He pulls you into a long kiss and your anxiety melts away. 

-o-

You wake up halfway through the night screaming. He brings you into a hug and shushes you. 

“Just a nightmare,” He whispers as you cry into his chest. He holds you until you’re asleep but the nightmare comes again, and again, and again. You’re always running from someone, so scared. You eventually get up, make coffee and watch the sun rise. 

“You ok?” Charles says from behind you. 

“Yeah, I had to be up early this morning anyway. We have that breakfast with Jean and Scott.” 

“You can go back to bed, I’ll handle breakfast,” He says and you shake your head. 

“I already have two cups of coffee in me,” you smile.

He moves over to you and you look at his face. It’s stern, he’s angry about something. 

“I got an alert, you went outside while I was away.”

“Just for a moment,” you say. 

“You know you aren’t allowed to go outside alone.” 

“I think that rule is a little over the top, I was only outside for a second,” you argue. 

“Look at me.” you look into his eyes and his face drops into a disapproving glare.”You agreed to this when we got married, you know how important this is to me and what I’m willing to do to keep you safe.” 

you shake slightly and look down again and he grabs your hand, holding it painfully tight.

“Do not leave this house without permission again or there will be consequences.” 

“I’m sorry, I won’t do it again,” you whisper. You did agree to it, you’re wrong to push back on the rule. 

His features relax and he places his hands on your waist, rubbing circles with his thumb. 

“I love you,” He says. 

“I love you too,” you smile.

He leaves you alone and you look back out the window. You agreed to this, to him. You agreed to obey all his rules for your safety, gave up control and your life is better for it. So why do you feel so trapped right now?

-o-

The coffee doesn’t help as much as you would like and you find yourself yawning throughout breakfast.

“Tired?” Jean asks.

“Nightmares,” you smile sadly. 

Jean and Scott share a look and you glance between them. 

“Is there something wrong?” You ask.

“Of course not,” Jean says “Hey, you were going to lend me a book.” 

You nod and walk with Jean across the room. 

“Charles says you left the house yesterday?”

You pull a book off the shelf. 

“I already apologized, I won’t do it again,” you say. 

“You didn’t find anything outside did you?” 

You think of the little bow hidden in the bathroom and something inside you tells you to lie. 

“No, I just breathed in some fresh air and stepped back in,” you say. 

Jean looks at you with suspicion and you shift your eyes away.

You look over at Charles and Scott talking across the room. They smile at you and you give a small smile back. You’re lucky, you tell yourself. Great friends, amazing husband. You’re happy.

-o-

“So I was thinking we could go somewhere fancy for our anniversary,” Charles mentions as you brush your teeth.

A frown starts forming against your will, you forgot about your anniversary.

“We could do something more casual,” He tries again.

“No it’s just... nevermind.” 

“What?” 

You shake your head and look in the mirror. It’s silly but you can’t remember what you did for your last anniversary or even how long you’ve been married. You think it’s been four years but maybe it’s three? Or five? Time doesn’t really matter when you’re with someone you love, you decide.

“Answer me,” He demands, pulling you from your thoughts. 

“I’m sorry, I just can’t remember what we did for our last one. It’s dumb.” 

He smiles and pulls you toward him, grabbing the back of your head and kissing your cheek.

“I don’t think we even made it out of the house last time. Ordered pizza in,” he whispers. 

A memory of pizza and marathon sex comes to the front of your memory and you smile. 

“Oh yeah, that was fun. A fancy dinner sounds good this time, It’s been a while since we went out.” 

“I’ll make a reservation,” He smirks.

-o-

You wake up the middle of the night from another nightmare. It’s been a week now and they keep getting worse. They always go the same way, in your house at the living room window looking out. A monster starts chasing you and you climb out the window and run for your life. 

You get up and go to the window from your dreams, looking out shaking your head in frustration. Something feels wrong but you can’t put your finger on it. You feel like you’re going crazy, it’s like you know there’s an important meeting scheduled but can’t remember where it is or who it’s with. You look around the room for clues and your wedding album catches your eye. You look through the photos smiling as you remember the day, then you see one that makes you stop. Something about it… 

It slides out of the album easily, like it’s been taken out many times before and you turn it over. ‘Didn’t happen: leg’ is scrawled across the back and you quickly slide the photo back in and stare at it. It’s small but there’s a slight inconsistency beside your leg in the photo. You start turning over more photos to find more notes and descriptions of tiny mistakes throughout the album. Beeping comes from your watch and you look down to see a heart rate alert. You take deep breaths as you put the album away and stand in the quiet room.

“What are you doing up?” Charles calls from the bedroom and you jump. 

“Just a drink of water,” you call back, grabbing a glass of water and walking back to bed.

-o-

A present arrives for you, a big red bow on top. You untie it and look inside finding a diamond bracelet. 

“Do you like it?” Charles asks. 

“It’s beautiful,” You reply. 

He’s always so thoughtful, checking your internet searches to find what you’ve been looking at. He’s really the perfect husband. Your life is so perfect. 

The bracelet feels heavy on your arm as you walk to the bathroom to start preparing for your date, taking a shower and applying makeup. You grab your bottle of foundation and notice it’s almost empty. It’s ok because you have another bottle. You reach onto the top shelf and feel something soft. The bow. Your nightmare flashes through your mind and you take the bow with you to the living room window. Something is off, really off. It’s right there, so close, a few minutes and you’ll remember, you know you will. 

“What are you holding?” Charles asks, his voice hard. He’s angry, but why?

You shake your head and he sighs. 

“How many times are we going to do this huh?” he says, clicking his tongue. A look of contempt solidifies on his face and it starts coming back.

Your nightmare flashes through your mind again and this time you can make out the monster. It’s him, Charles. The photos, they were faked. None of this is real.

“You’re not my husband…. What did you do to my mind?” 

“Walk away from the window baby, we don’t have to keep doing this.”

Tears start forming. You’ve had this conversation before many times. It was all a lie, he kidnapped you. You had thought you found a family with them, they gave you a home when you ran away. He took one look at you and decided you were his and everyone just… went along with it. 

“Let me go.” 

“We’re happy together darling.” 

“I hate to break it to you, darling, but If you have to change someone's memories for them to date you it’s not a happy relationship.” you start getting angry, or really, your actual personality comes back. He took everything from you, made you so small. You’ve never been small, always fought. He’s taken away the very thing that makes you you. 

“I deserve it after everything I’ve done, everything I’ve lost.” 

“But I don’t deserve it. You took everything! My freedom,” you look at your hands “My powers,” you cry, realizing how he made you forget everything you can do. He kept you in this home, treated you like a fragile doll. You’re not fragile.

You reach for the window unlocking it with ease, your muscles remembering the motion. 

“You know I’ll always catch you. Even if you somehow get out of our yard there’s no way to hide from me.” He puts a finger to his temple.

“Magneto.” You say simply, the threat obvious in your tone. His nostrils flare.

“You wouldn’t.” 

You would.

“I’ll always run and one day I’ll get away. If It means going back to Erik I will.” 

“He abused you, beat you.” 

“So do you.”

“I punish when I have to because I love you, it’s not abuse.” 

“Erik said the same thing,” you roll your eyes “You’re so alike, two sides of the same coin. At least with Erik I was aware of the abuse. You hit me and then make me happy about it, make me thank you.”

He moves toward you, lip curling into a sneer.

“Close that window and come here.”

“You took my memories, messed with my mind,” you yell.

“Only because you can’t ever just obey, it’s always a fight with you. Show me you can behave and you can keep them.” 

You start climbing out the window and his voice gets louder.

“Don’t you dare run from me, not again,” He yells.

You run, just like every other time, and just like every time you don’t make it far before he stops you, making you barely able to move. You fight it and sparks fly though your fingers ad you reach for the ground. It’s like meeting an old friend, the earth whispers to you and you cry, not wanting to lose them again. You give your bracelet to the earth and it pulls it under for you. They won’t find it, not even if they dig for it. The earth will keep it safe and give it back to you when you’re ready again. 

You’re suddenly pulled up and carried inside. Logan deposits you on the bed and Charles gives him a nod of gratitude. Charles leans over you and you give him the most loathsome look you can muster, still barely able to move. He holds your head and closes his eyes briefly.

‘I hate you’ you think over and over again.

“You just need more time,” He replies, wiping a tear from your cheek as you lose consciousness.

-o-

You shoot up and look around your room.

“Are you ok?” Charles asks. 

“Yeah, I have a headache is all,” you reply

He pulls you back down to the bed and kisses your cheek. 

“Why don’t you just rest today darling, I’ll get you some pain killers.” 

You nod, so happy to have such a loving and thoughtful husband. Your life is so perfect. 

You look over and see a little piece of wallpaper coming up at the edge. A feeling washes over you, telling you to peel back the wallpaper. Beeps start coming from your wrist, warning you of your heart rate and you take deep breaths.

Something is off.

**Author's Note:**

> [My Tumblr](https://mosswillow.tumblr.com/)
> 
> I’m writing a prequel to this following the readers journey meeting Erik, running away, And meeting the X-men/Charles becoming obsessed.


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